Continuity of Friendship

I cherish my friendships and see them as precious gems that warm my heart and fill me with hope and sweetness. I'm actually known for my interest in long lost friends who suddenly re-enter my life. Just a few weeks ago I became reacquainted with a man who'd been one of my confidants during my teens. His memories of the teenage me took my breath away. He said that he could see the sixteen year old me in my website picture. When friends of my youth reappear, it's almost as if they'd never left. We have an instant rapport as the years fall away and there is a recognition and a knowing of each other. There's the woman I speak with about once or twice a year and we marvel at how our voices still sound exactly the same and we recapture the essence of our friendship within minutes. She touches something deep within my heart...she gets me in a unique way.

Then, there are those friends who've been present for over forty years and we have shared all those major life events of marriage and babies and growing children and finally grandchildren. We've been there for each other through career changes and challenges. A friend I made in graduate school has been my Monday lunch partner for over a quarter of a century. We never run out of things to talk about. We process everything that happens and we never miss a lunch unless one of us is either on vacation or, as happens too frequently as we age, at a funeral.

I told a client just today that I believe that our friendships and relationships are probably the most meaningful parts of our lives and that it is usually worth it to work through difficulties rather than simply abandon a friendship. Having the courage to gently confront a friend and express what I'm feeling allows the relationship to deepen and grow and we are both better for the effort.

We lead busy lives. We are on our computers, blackberries, iphones. Face to face interactions seem to be dwindling. However we can reach out to each other is essential. Texting ignores the nuances of communication. It has its place, but it will never replace the value of authentic contact.